50 Shades of Grey - Types of Play

Types of Play

It is important to note that scene play does not have to involve B and D or S and M. Some Dominant/submissive relationships are purely cerebral. There really is no right or wrong way to play as long as safety isn't ignored. It is well beyond the scope of this document to talk about every type of play or scene but below are some of the basics. Remember, ALL of these topics and the myriad of others that exist should be part of negotiation.

Bondage: As stated above, bondage can be very simple or very elaborate, taking hours to apply. It's relatively easy for an adult to find examples of bondage on the Internet, some practical and some that are strictly fantasy. With practice and experience, the line between fantasy and reality narrows but it is important to realize that for some photos the model was put into the situation as quickly as possible, the picture taken ASAP and the model was then taken out of the situation as quickly as possible.

Discipline: Discipline can be anything, from feather to whip. Discipline can also be mental "stand in that corner and don't move until I tell you worm". As with most things in the scene discipline is relative, ones persons bliss is another persons agony.

Fetishes: It is possible to have a fetish for anything. Common fetishes include foot and shoe fetishes, breast fetishes, articles of clothing, smoking, etc. It is thought that fetishes stem from associating or objectifying something in youth in connection with a sexual thought or act. The association becomes stronger until sexual arousal becomes difficult or impossible without that something present either physically or at least in thought. Brought into a scene, producing that something can make the fetishist absolutely melt.

Role Play: Role play can be teacher and student, police and criminal, priest and nun, virtually anything you can imagine. It can be very serious or light and playful. For some, role play can be a way to act out very deep fantasies and emotions. People can literally become the role for a time. If you know someone is in a role, you should respect it, as you would respect any scene.

Clothing: Clothing can make a scene. We've all viewed pictures on the Internet of leather or rubber outfits, corsets and clothing that defy imagination. Clothing can help set the mood or help participants assume a role. Ultimately, though, clothing is but an extension of self. You don't need to spend all kinds of money unless you want to. If you feel sexy in a burlap bag, then you ARE sexy. There is no right or wrong answer.

Etiquette and protocol enable peaceful interactions and avoid unnecessary conflict. There's a well known anecdote that illustrates this: A wealthy society matron -- sometimes identified as Queen Victoria, sometimes identified as a Vanderbilt or Astor -- was hosting a lavish formal dinner. One of her guests was from another country and he was not familiar with "finger bowls." He didn't realize that the bowls of water with a slice of lemon floating in them were for cleaning fingers. He picked up the bowl and drank from it. Rather than embarrassing him with a correction, the hostess picked up her own bowl and drank from it. Soon all the other dinner guests followed suit.

They might not have followed the correct protocol but they were practicing good manners. In short, protocol and etiquette are not meant to ostracize and humiliate. Those who do so are practicing non-consensual abuse.