Female ejaculate

Whether you’ve seen it in porn, or heard about it from friends, or maybe because she’s like what-the-heck-just happened to my body, I swear I didn’t mean to pee on the bed, female ejaculation is one of those sex topics that people all over the interwebs are often gushing about (and one of the most popular questions I get here, at AskJamye). Whether it’s because she can’t understand how it happens, because he’s trying to figure why, or because she’s trying to determine if it really is an orgasm, when it comes to those of us curious about sex, we are often intrigued, excited, or embarrassed by squirting.

First, let me get my ejaculation gripes out of the way. I am not a fan of experts or videos, which lead people to believe that ejaculation makes for the best! orgasm! ever! I get upset when I see a video or read an “expert” say that in order to experience sex fully, you should ejaculate. Squirting is neat, but not necessary. You may not even like ejaculating. As someone who’s gone with the flow, I can say that while it can be fun, and definitely visually interesting, it’s not always an orgasm, and it doesn’t equal electrifying sex. Instead of thinking of it in terms of orgasm, I like to think of it as a big release. What squirting does do, is it make things really wet.

Speaking of wet, I also want to spend a moment talking about the term female ejaculation. Female ejaculate is truer to the consistency of water than paste. Squirting looks a lot more like pee than like cum, even though, no, it’s not pee either.
That being said, I prefer the action word squirting to ejaculating, since for me, ejaculating implies not only a semen-like consistency, but a need to find a way to group male, and female orgasms together. In reality, we’ve got similar parts and yet our orgasms, and our capacity to orgasm, can be rather different.

Whatever way it drips, there’s a lot more of it than he ever makes, and G-spot guru Beverly Whipple says that female ejaculate can fill up half a coffee cup (depending on the size of your mug). What is similar to male ejaculate is that female ejaculate also contains PSA (a prostate specific antigen, which is produced in male jizz), it’s the closest fluid to semen in the female body, and it can shoot out from in between her legs, via both the skene’s glands and the bladder.

*The skene’s glands are located on either side of the urethral opening, and they’re so small that, like the urethral opening, they’re not always visible to the naked eye. The skene’s glands cannot produce the amount of ejaculate that is expelled in movies that show women swimming in their own sexy bath. At least, not normally.

If we look at ejaculate other ways, it’s the wet spot on the bed, the dribble during sex, and the buckets of liquid in a porn movie. All of that could be female ejaculate and sometimes it could be attributed to the fact that squirters stay well-hydrated. I learned that trick when working on my own educational DVD series. I worked with adult film actors like Cytherea, who could have saved Hollywood from its next drought. And the key was she drank a lot of water on set, and then she had orgasms pretty soon after hydrating. That’s what really gets the juices flowing, and then going – straight out of the body. That means, for a more visual experience, it’s all about hydration. If she’s a little more lubricated (as in hydrated or inebriated) she will have an easier time relaxing and getting in touch with her body, and she should be able to feel herself fill up. And if she’s concerned about peeing while you poke and pet the pussy, just have her get up and pee –on the toilet.

The best way to play with her juiciness is to get up in the vagina and get her aroused. Really aroused, and if she’s not wet yet, use lube too.

When you’re tickling her bits, include a g-spot massage. Insert one, or two fingers inside the vagina, massaging the top wall in a come hither motion. As the vagina begins to fill with fluid (you’ll feel this happen and know she’s wet) you can massage even further back, on the top wall towards the cervix, in an area sometimes known as the A-spot (the Anterior Fornix Erogenous Zone). Thrust that finger up and down and gauge her reactions. Move your fingers back and forth and try circular motions (they will be small, vaginas are not that big). When you feel her vagina is fuller than usual and liquid is making a splash outside of her opening, it’s time to do what you do on a slip-n-slide, and let the wetness take her away. In order to squirt, she needs to bare down, which is the opposite of what she learns when she’s told to practice her kegel exercises(that’s squeeze up and release). She can try this while there’s a finger inside of her, but it works better when you remove fingers, the sex toy, or his penis in order to push out the fluid that she feels filling her up inside. She needs to push out to gush out, and it’s this pushing out that’s key.

My favorite toys for getting her to ejaculate include anything curved glass, or any toy that’s long enough, hard enough and can hit the G-spot too.

In the end, whatever you try and however deep you dig, female ejaculation is more of a sloppy good time than a target for pleasure. Not all women squirt, and not all women want to, and whatever gets her going is more important than gushing.

For more visual instruction, check out Jessica Drake’s:
 Guide to the G-spot and Female Ejaculation.